into the inferno

last night i came across a random picture of an ex-girlfriend on the web...it was already one of those nights i wanted to forget...where the endless monotony of the days and the realization of my own futile existence had driven me to my knees...and there she was staring back at me from the screen...suddenly all the beer i had consumed drove itself into a tight little ball in my stomach and squeezed...it wasn't about her so much, though of all the girls i've known she was my favourite...it was just the emptiness of the situation...it had that 'wait a minute i know her' type of feeling, and then when i thought a minute more i realized...no i don't know her...i haven't seen her in three years, was i ever even with this girl...man what a waste...every single one of these girls are gone...i am sure they are living good lives somewhere but for me they are gone...deceased...its like remembering an apparition that may or may not have existed at all...is my memory playing tricks...is this just another nameless girl on this earth...well i guess she wasn't just another nameless girl at one time and that time still exists somewhere...but it doesn't exist here...i went off to bed remembering those days...for whatever it was worth...