the luck of the irish

i've been alive for awhile now...a good thirty years...and i do not remember ever having a bit of luck...sure you rosy fuckers out there will point to a cripple, to a beggar, or to what have you and say...your luck isn't that bad...and i suppose it isn't...but that does not make it good luck...luck, in its most concentrated form, simply has to do with me[or you]...and my luck is much worse than that of my family...however, it is genetic in a sense...travel back through the family tree and bad luck will turn up in every dusty corner...sure, you will say, it is simply the nature of existence...trace anyone's life, roots, or otherwise and the outcome will be a life of bad luck...(i wish to distinguish between bad luck and having a "bad" life)....regardless, bad luck follows me like a cloud...and there are another group of wide-eyed savages that will insist that it is simply my state of mind...negativity breeds negativity they will say...and i agree, however in my case, positivity, negativity, or even nativity brings about bad luck...because obviously everyone has some mundane control of their reality, but in a greater sense the world collapses into determinism (any true gambler will acknowledge that...it's the fates that determine, to win you must tap in)...the world is how it was meant to be...for me and for you my lonely reader, teetering on the brink of tomorrow...