down the tracks to nowhere

i grew up by the train tracks...no, not on the other side of the tracks, and not so close that every time the old engine passed it shook the trees and rattled the walls...but close enough that when that lonesome whistle blew, it shook me to my very soul...maybe that is why i love trains and train travel...the whistle, like the lone wolf's call, with its approaching freight, felt like a hurricane rumbling into town...i used to walk the tracks often...even as a kid i realized that no one would bother me on the tracks...the tracks, more solitary than a country road, lent me peace...i had only the ties, miles, and steel rails swimming in the summer heat for comfort...now that i think about it, there was a dreaminess to summer on the tracks with the heat waves rising slow...as seventh graders we used to have a club dedicated to trains...the intention was to walk through a tunnel on the edge of town...it never happened until college when a member of this train society and yours truly finally decided to take the leap...it was a great day, the sun hot and the tunnel cool and dark...and even with college age bravery, it took courage with every movement, to reach for the unknown...inch by inch, back through time, to the days of our infant youth, we walked...with every step we could hear the water seeping and dripping, and see the solitary light on the other end...we remembered and regressed without a word...in every cold dark move toward the light, we became our fundamental selves...and finally after much exertion, we arrived at the tunnel's end which in the past was never seen, but always imagined...at that moment there was a solemn melancholy that pervaded the scene...we had made it to the other side of the tunnel, but as we looked around we realized, it was nothing more than what we had left behind...and as we looked at each other and looked back at the distant light from where we had came, we understood...the journey lead nowhere, and we still had to return home, and walk through the tunnel once more...