ole mary

i feel even more worthless tonight...surrounded by inventions...everything around me has been given...the printing press, the recordable music, the television...the steam radiator, the wine, the window, the crapper...well i know i am just a freeloader here on the crust of the earth, i know...hey, what can i say, i am the king of mediocre...however i will take the time to thank whoever, wherever it is for whatever this is...because this whatever is something, and sometimes something is better than nothing...to coin a phrase...

carry on, carry out...

i walked the halls today, of a house from the past...not the house i grew up in, but the house i grew up in...spent many days in the ragged, unfinished rooms...remember the first time i entered in seventh grade...i was home...home in the cluttered collateral...home in the rubbished mind...i walked the stairs today, up through my first kiss, the kid's coming out party, and his sis' police poster on the wall...i saw his sis on saturday, we did some beer drinking and some porch sitting...magical...a few kiddos and a good life have rounded her out...and i am happy, so happy for the life she is living...back at my second parents' home...really cluttered, almost crumbling beneath its foundations...but there is something beyond i-beams holding the god-damned thing together...it is the love for family...simple, not quite profound...it is the family and the friends that keep us together...someday the dust will catch up with us, and all there will be is the love we have forged...